IF YOU’RE HUMAN AND YOU’VE TAKEN ON A BIG PROJECT, DECIDED TO CREATE SOMETHING NEW, OR GIVEN YOURSELF A MASSIVE CHALLENGE TO ACCOMPLISH, YOU’VE EXPERIENCE SELF DOUBTS, AND THAT’S OK: ALL THE BEST PEOPLE DO!
Andrea has written 3 books for children that haven’t yet been published, and she’s now working on a book for adults. Andrea has learned two great lessons about how to get rid of her worries, fears and concerns. Andrea agreed to share snippets of what she said and wrote, because I know it may help, and inspire you or someone you know.
During one of our coaching sessions Andrea told me:
“I did have a really bad wobble. I was like “why am I doing this?”, “I’m so busy” and “bla bla bla bla…”. I’m very good at talking the talk about my book, and now I talk crap to everybody about it. Now I tell people I’m writing a book – which you told me to do – so people are like “tell me about it” and I go “ho… is it really that good?”, “is it good or rubbish?”, “can I write it?” and all this sort of stuff.”
Before our conversation, Andrea had also sent me an email saying:
“Sorry its taken me so long to do anything, but I think my lack of action is about resistance to change. I have been very unwell, as have kids, but have found it impossible to get started or motivated. I spoke to a few people about this, and they said it is totally normal, and is about fear. I think I have been a bit scared to get started, as once I say I’m going to write a book – change my life – its out there, and I have to do it. Its rather nice having it as a dream, but I need to stop thinking of myself as an imposter, and get active. Its also very unlike me, as I normally throw myself into things with gusto. I thought I would be totally honest with you about my wobble, and will probably feel a bit of an idiot once I have sent this email.”
If you’re a human being, you will have these thoughts. I’ve never met a person who doesn’t have self-doubt. I’ve never met a person who doesn’t feel worries and anxieties. Even my clients who are the most “successful” still have the impostor dilemma, and face the fears of not being as good as they want to be.
The more important your project / creation / challenge is for you, the more likely you are to face these worries, concerns and fears.
During our coaching sessions, Andrea also said:
“Since I’ve had that wobble, and was honest and told you. I actually feel a lot better about it.”
And at the end of her email, Andrea wrote:
“Now I have actually done an action, I am feeling a lot better and motivated.”
Andrea inspires me because she’s honest about how she really feels, and takes action despite her fears and anxieties.
Andrea inspires me because she feels the fear, and moves forward anyway.
YOU CAN LEARN TWO LESSONS FROM ANDREA.
When we wobble, when we’re scared, when we’re worried and when we feel like an impostor, if we talk about it and express it openly, the wobbles, the fear and worries diminish. The more open we are about these “negative” feelings, the more they disappear by themselves. It’s like naming the elephant in the room: acknowledging how weak we really feel makes us stronger. When we are open about our loss of motivation, we allow ourselves to be human… and we create space for motivation to regrow.
When we’re down, we don’t want to take action, because we’re low on energy and motivation. That’s like refusing to eat when we’re ill. If you’re ill and want to get healthier, eating will give you the energy you need to fight diseases. Actions are food for motivation: the more actions you take, the more motivated you will feel, regardless of the results. Vincent Van Gogh painted his entire life, and the result would have seemed terrible to anyone else, because he only ever sold ONE painting (more in this article). His motivation came from the action he took (ie. painting). If you feel like you’re stuck or low on motivation, if you feel like an impostor, and worry about how good you are, take ONE small action today. Take another action tomorrow. And again the following day. Your motivation will regrow with each action you take. And it’s OK to start small.